It's not easy being both a stylist/MUA, model and photographer at the same time. But I do them all rather well, if you ask me ;) I could be better with styling/makeup but hey.. no-ones perfect ey? ^^, I've been watching waay too much Americas Next TopModel though.. lot's of smizing [smile with your eyes] and HOT [head-to-toes posing] were going on today!

I need to find someone else to shoot though, and maybe a stylist.. time to go through 397 pictures of me. Hey, I never sad I was not a narcissist?

With the start of me using mineral makeup, I also got more serious and expensive makeup-brushes. I have a rather small makeup-bag and the hair on the brushes sometimes get stuck in the zipper which ruins them.

So I've been searching for a special case for only brushes for quite a while, one similar to what real makeup-artists use. My good friend Hanna found one on a swedish site and it was rather cheap so I ordered one a while back! It's awsome but I just haven't showed it yet O:

Besides the fact that it protects my brushes, it's nice to have small pens, my tweezer and stuff like that cause they tend to get in the bottom of the makeup-bag and one has to dig for 'em.

 

It also gets very small when you fold it together :D

Sigma 24mm f/2.8

 

Completely wonderful sunset by the sea - so beautiful! These type of pictures aren't relly my thing but I am pretty satisfied with this one. Although the wonderful sunset did most of the job by itself ;)

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + a grey legging over the lens

 

"Wanderers in that happy valley
Through two luminous windows saw
Spirits moving musically
To a lute's well-tuned law;
Round about a throne, where sitting
(Porphyrogene!)
In state his glory well befitting,
The ruler of the realm was seen."

-from The fall of the house of Usher - Edgar Allan Poe

 

Sat out in the sun reading my book "Selected Tales -  Edgar Allan Poe" and in one of them they quoted a poem/song and this extract made me want to photohgraph my flute - and so I did!

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + tripod and remote

I am home again, but struggling with all my pics I had in the camera - they are a few and it takes time. I do not like that I am so behind with posting/uploading/showing my 365-pics. But there are so many things going on around me as well. My grandma is here now so we are doing a lot of things with her for example, and also I'm taking new pictures every day. I feel like I will never catch up to myself.

 

So it will be non-picture-posts here for a while longer, while I keep on struggling haha!

 

I also think I've missed one day of my 365... :(

Above is by the way a picture I took at the same time as this.

 

I have to get ready now though - we're gonna go shopping! [see, always happening things...]

Have been bored for quite some time now. As always I've spent the time browsing other photographers pictures and feeling inspired and making myself have that itchy "I-want-to-photograph-now-feeling". I can do that for a vert long time. So I thought that it was a while since I shared some of my flickr-faves here so below is a new batch of inspiring [at least to me] pictures :3

Yes, that's how it might be for a while now.

I left Lucas place today, where I currently sort of live now a days. I left my computer there. Tomorrow It's time for Pier Pressure, a one day festival. I'm so excited! Finually I'm gonna see HIM live, I've listened to them for soo many years and never seen them live. Finually!

You're not allowed to have camera with you [system camera that is] there, unless you work for a newspaper or something and have a special passport for photography. I considered fudging it in [I've done it before] but I do not feel like carrying it arround all day and also it would be a pain in the ass if I failed. Maybe I'll take some mobilepictures.

Then on monday me and Lucas will go away for the week, with his dad plus family. Off to the coast during midsummer and all. Live in a big.. hm.. it's "villavagn" in Swedish. Dunno the english word. Anyone know? [the link is a picture of one] I will have no access to photoshop etc. there. So no pictures for a while.

Will be a major update when I get back, of my 365 and maybe some other stuff. I will photograph a lot while I'm there [I think]. Maybe I'll blog some from my phone while I'm there, we'll see.

So you all, where-ever you are and whatever you're doing - have a great week!

 

Right now everything feels kinda heavy and sucks.. like, life itself. Got notified from the school of photography a few days back. Did not get accepted. I am a reserv, number 10 in line. Sure, could've been worse - but could have been a lot better too. Right now I feel a bit of an anxiety over life and the future. What shall I do for a whole year before I can apply to the school again? Sure take a few courses at the Municipality Adult education, but then what? Continue looking for a job which I have no energy for at all since it does'nt go very well, have not done in a long time. Photography is all I have.. all I'm good at. I did not get accepted to the school.

 

Right now I just want to.. leave everything, walk away, disappear. Just be somewhere, without time and space or pressure to do things, buy things, everything costs money, require something else. To do B you need to have done A, but you cannot get A without B. Sort of. I don't know. Confusing. Lot's of thoughts, anxiety and panic. I wanna go away.

 

It's just.. I am alive, so I have a path infront of me. I just don't know what's along the way and where It leads.

 

 

 

Yaay, today it finually happened - I got a new phone [thanks mum]. I finually own a HTC, HTC Legend to be precise. I haven't fully mastered it and it's functions yet but I love it :3 Mum "accidently" came home with a HTC Desire for herself - the last one in our hometown, next one will arrive in 2 months! She hadn't even heard about the phone until today haha!

 

The guy in the store was awfully kind too, gave us a lot of free stuff just because we were so nice, hot and knew alot about IT/technology [I am a nerd and mum a teacher in IT] Each of us got a leathercase, 2 chargers that works in the car and I got a 4GB flashcard. He also did some magic with the prices ;)

 

So besides spending the day shopping with my mum, you can all guess on what I've put a lot of energy and what I've done hehe. Not easy though, taking a good picture on a cellphone, and I have all my "ministudio"-stuff at home... but hey, this'll have to do. Bird/owl theme on it of course :D

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + tripod and remote

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + tripod and remote

 

Another picture from the series I took on myself a few days back. Besides the two I've already shown, this is the next one I really like. I love my pose and the fact that my tattoo is shown haha

A friend of mine just sent me a link to Fine Magazine and an article about the photographer David Bellemere... and I'm just stuck. Damn is he good or what?! I don't mind fine art but I often feel that a lot of photographers balance on the brink of pornographic. But this is no dirty old fellow. He has so much emotion behind his pictures! Also, look at the colors and light - amazing! He has also been shooting at some amazing settings.

"David is a regular contributor to Italian Marie Claire, French Playboy, Flaunt or S Magazine" they write, and that says alot about how talented he is. He does not only shoot fine art, but most of his work is in that genre. But oh it's so beautiful and sensual! More of his pictures can be found on this site [were I found the pictures below].

We slept well and long today, woke up around eleven. So I've recently had my breakfast and now I'm drinking coffé. Feels nice though, with such a late breakfast cause dinner will be later today as well. So I am "on track" so to speak.

Then I'm really gonna be productive today/make something out of this day. Sick and tired of just sitting around in front of my computerscreen.

So later I'll get on some proper clothes and go out for a walk. Probably my camera will follow with me, although I've walked that distance so many times before. Or I'll leave it at home and walk faster/run a little? Hmm..

Then I might read some, and I should write here about the last book I read. Maybe I'll grab the bull by the horns and do something of a photoidea I have, but it takes some prepping before so we'll see.

Was out for a walk yesterday and found this nice little bridge. Mostly I liked how the light fell and that the reflections were so clear in the water beneath.

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + tripod and remote

 

Another picture I took yesterday at the same time as this one. I really like this one alot too, I managed to get the focuspoint very good and a nice expression in my eyes and bodylanguage. Also... I feel hot/good looking hahaahhaha! [sometimes one is allowed to do that ;)]

 

Btw, it is very hard to get the focuspoint right when you use a lens with no autofocus. I have to sort of measure the focuspoint and take a f*cking lot of pictures, move around, measure again and shit like that. But once one succeed - it's freakin' good! Why don't I just use my 50mm?

Cause I am a fucking stubborn girl from the wildwoods of northen Sweden! haha

 

Coffé. One of my many loads -  and today I had "a few" cups. Got up at nine and had a huuge cup. Then I was off to my dear friend Meliha and there I had two more cups of this lovely beverage. After a very nice time at her place, I was off home where I had three more biig cups. On the train back to Lucas my hands were all shaky haha! But it's just so darn good, and also... I get a headache if I do not drink coffé. An addiction? You bet!

Sigma 24mm f/2.8 + tripod and remote

Have to start by stating that I do not smoke - I stole/borrowed a cigarette from Lucas [and almost burned a hole in my shirt!] Now then, why did I take such a picture? [not that I think one always needs a reason but...]

 

Well, the idea got to me a while back. I wanted a picture with a cigarette in the hand, smudged-out make-up and wet hair. Partially, I stand for the fact that I think smoking is hot. And partially I wanted to convey a dull/gloomy/sad feeling. It's been very dull and rainy outside for a few days now and I've mostly been inside/in bed doing nothing at all. I'm also a bit worried about my future and sad about my economy [hah..].

Or I just took the pic to convey a feeling and because it's hot?! Not often you'll see pictures in b/w coming from me btw...

In the future though, I could seriously be one of those women that walks around at home in a shirt to big for me and with a coffécup in one hand, cigarette in the other, sitting in the bed with my laptop editing pictures. Not a very promising/positive image of one self but...

More pictures from this series will later show up on my Flickr.

hate being broke

8th june - World Ocean Day. Read about The Ocean Project, the history behind this day and what you/we can do for the ocean.

I will show some sea-related pictures I've taken :3

 

 

 

 

 

Sigma 24mm f/2.8

 

To pray... I am not religious or faithful, I'm not a believer. I do not believe in "a god" or a higher power. I've tried believing in a god, but tho give him/her/this a "personality", to personify it... it makes it hard. I can't, it does not work that way.

 

I do believe that everyone believes. Even those that call themselfs atheists, cause we all need to believe in something - and everyone prays. Maybe not on their knees by the bed, with their hands together.. chanting actual prayers etc... But haven't we all from time to time thought things like "please let this intervju turn out great" or  "please let it be good weather tomorrow" and other ordinary stuff like that. Even me. It's in our every day life and we do it without thinking from time to time.

 

There are things though, that even I believe in. At a certain point, I believe in fate, but I also think we take part in creating our own "destiny". I believe in being at the right place at the right time and I believe that certain things happen for a reason. I believe in that how things are in life, how you are treated and encountered by other people mostly depend on how You yourself are as a person and against others. I believe in side effects, everything we do affects something else. Butterfly Effect. That's what I believe in. Moral and human behaviour. Our own inner strenght - to decide, make choises, act and forgive.

 

I believe in what music and books can do for mind and soul. I also believe in what I can see and touch. Nature for example, it's always been close to me and it's out there. It's also more powerful than we are, always have and always will be.

 

When I had my important interview the other day and was nervous like cray, I found strenght and a soothing calm in the warmth of the sun, the whistle in the crown of the trees, the two horses that always stand as far away from the road as possible, but ont that day stood very close to the pavement and greeted me as I walked by, those three crows that flew by me [a bad omen for some, but I happen to like birds and crows in particular]. When I've been sad or angry I've used to talk a walk into the forest, sit down on a rock or log - there I've shouted out all my feelings and just let the nature hide it away from the rest of the world. I've known that no one else heard and that everything would stay there, no one would ever find out what happend there and then. Just a secret between me and the forest. Do I believe in mother earth? Well.. that is to give a force a personality of some sorts, but since I believe in nature.. I guess one could put it that way. Gaia is at least closer to me than any other divinity or higher power.

 

Anywho, if you ask me most people believe in something and we humans need it. We are from time to time weak individuals that find power in believing and to blame bad things that happen on something else, something higher.

 

So, since I am a bit philosofical today, I felt like taking a picture that portraits this - believing and praying.

Most of all I believe that I wrote waay to much haha! Anyway, it would be interesting to know what other people feel and think concerning this, above is just my personal thoughts and opinions.

 

Yeah, I just booked tickets to Pier Pressure and Hultsfred. I thank my beloved mother for buying my hultsfred-ticket, it's time to get rid of my "virginity" when it comes to festivals. Hultsfred is a 3-day long festival with lots of great people and music. I'll be going with my boyfriend plus his awsome friends - gonna have a blast! Wiiee~~!!

Pier Pressure is "only" during one day but some awsome bands there to, gonna be awsome to finually see H.I.M and Paramore - can't wait!

 

Shall you guys out there go on any concerts/visit any festivals this summer? Or do you have any other awsome plans?

 

Yeah, I had a swedish version of this on my swedish blog, but I recently saw a few other bloggers use this, and since I also have this blog in english and want my english readers to be able to ask me stuff as well - I got this instead. It also had a design more to my liking. So.. go ahead and ask me stuff now - at my formspring.

Soo.. today I've mostly been out on the porch readin in the sun - wonderful! Today my very very old book that I bought on a fleemarket arrived as well, it's such a beatuy. I do love books.